So this is where my rhetoric gets a bit radical…
I don’t identify as a mum. Mum is my title, it is Buddy’s name for me. But fundamentally, I am a parent.
I don’t do mum things, I don’t wear mum clothes or attend mum activities. I have no interest in Mother’s Day. Mum media doesn’t represent me. I have no interest in mommy blogs and nothing in common with mum podcasts. I would never start a sentence with “As a mum”.
I am a parent. The relationship I have with Buddy is influenced by who I am – my personality, my upbringing, my education, my preferences, my culture and yes, my gender. But it is not defined by my gender. My ovaries are not the biggest determinant of my parenting style.
I am not trying to set off the right wing. I am not trying to change the English language. I’m not denying the differences between men and women. I just want to point out: I don’t parent with my vagina.
If you want to define my parenting role by my demographics, then sure, I’m Female Parent. And Young Parent. And Tall Parent. And Anglo Parent. Is everyone cool with Buddy calling me ‘Whitey’ and Tee ‘Yellow Fellow’?
If you want to define my parenting role by my personality, let’s go. I’m Strict Parent, Organised Parent, Easily-touched-out Parent.
What about hobbies, my habits? I’m Outdoor Parent, Bike Parent, Hat Parent, Library Parent.
Being a parent is a huge part of my life. It’s shaped my thinking, my habits, my available discretionary time and the way I experience the world. Yellow Fellow feels similarly. And it’s got nothing to do with the respective shapes of our genitals.
…aaaaand this is why this blog is anonymous.